Vikings-lite

To be fair, I don't know how much hoopla there has been around the release of The Northman and not having seen any of the trailers prior to the movie, I can't say what I was expecting. However...having seen the shows Vikings and The Last Kingdom (both phenomenal viking shows), I was mildly let down by The Northman. Definitely not saying it was a terrible movie, I think one could make the argument that it's even better than ok, but having watched hours upon hours of Viking drama, it was alright. Maybe it's because I wanted more and a couple hours of sword fighting isn't enough for me? Who knows.

It is becoming difficult for me to watch Nicole Kidman in movies now. Not because I think she's a terrible actress, but she's Nicole Kidman. I can't believe she's a Viking Queen. I am also of the belief that extremely well known actors/actresses shouldn't be in period pieces. Leave it to the unknown players. Can you buy Matt Damon & Ben Affleck as a knights? I just can't anymore. So a movie with Ethan Hawke and Nicole Kidman as ruling Vikings? That's just a leap my brain can't take anymore without knocking it down a couple ratings. Now having said that Alexander Skarsgard does embody a great Viking...but hell look at him...it's not a leap. Add to that he hasn't been in every movie in the last 30ish years and it's perfect. But what about Robert Eggers utilization of weird imagery and symbolism, a film nerd might be screaming at me right now...and sure there are some thrown in, but nothing that would make it stand out from any other streaming Viking show out there right now. It definitely isn't anywhere as kooky as Eggers' The Lighthouse. Whew...not even close. But f*cking a fish is next level.

As far as my rating system goes: 1. Pay full price; 2. $5 movie night; 3. Wait for streaming


I say it's a good $5 movie night. It is 2hrs 16mins long, it does have a few scenes that drag, but come on. Get out of the house. Let Skarsgard body shame you with those abs while you hork down a tub of popcorn. Enjoy the night. Buuuuuuut....go see the movie and then go stream those shows I mentioned earlier and tell me how you'd rank them


If you're curious about my exercise and food pairing for this movie, head on over to my other site later.



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