Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard


Holy crap....if there was ever a movie that personified the "The numbers all go to 11", Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard is definitely that movie.


Thankfully I had finished watching the first one just as I walked out the door to see this sequel because a lot of the jokes are winks at the first one. Reynolds' character, Bryce is taking a "sabbatical" of sorts, which of course as you well know, doesn't last long. Hayek is on a quest to rescue her husband (Jackson) and from there the movie is like drinking a Red Bull laced with cocaine. It has tons of action, tons of swearing, tons of jokes, tons of callbacks...but that might be the downfall of the movie. It was a lot. Like a lot a lot. It felt like the cast had a running bet to see how many times they could get MF'er into the movie. And before you even starting bemoaning that "Of coooooooourse it's gonna have motherf*cker in a Sam Jackson movie", yes, I know. It's even one of the running jokes in the movie.

The cast is great. Sometimes Hayek's crude jokes feel forced. Trust...I don't mind crude at all, but when it doesn't feel natural, I'm eh about it. At parts it feels like a 12yo boy was given the reins to put any and every joke or subplot he could think of. Doesn't make it terrible, but 12yo's do become annoying after a bit. Reynolds, Hayek, Banderas, and Jackson are all very much who you'd expect them to be...down to Banderas swarmy villain. Frank Grillo is in it a bit, but completely lost and seems almost like a caricature of a Boston cop. Do we ever know why he was there? Why he wants to get back to the States? We might've found out, but it's lost in that movie.


Do you want a movie with tons of explosions with Ace Ventura seriousness? Then it's perfect. I think it's more geared towards a $5/free popcorn night at the movies, but to each their own. Besides, even if Ryan Reynold's movies haven't been all that great, he still brings a wonderful charm to each role

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